1 00:03:22,292 --> 00:03:26,581 'Dear god, watch over me as I embark on this next posting. 2 00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:30,495 "Think I'll have to get up at about six tomorrow. 3 00:03:37,292 --> 00:03:38,998 "The pain in my stomach persists 4 00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:42,447 'and is now further hampered by menstruation. 5 00:03:42,583 --> 00:03:45,950 'I have taken two ibuprofen and milk of magnesia. 6 00:03:51,333 --> 00:03:52,413 'Forgive me my impatience 7 00:03:52,542 --> 00:03:55,158 'but I hope you will reveal your plan for me soon. 8 00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,226 'I can't shake the feeling that you must have saved me 9 00:03:58,250 --> 00:04:00,081 'for something greater than this. 10 00:04:02,708 --> 00:04:05,074 'Not that I'm complaining or anything. 11 00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:06,323 'Amen.' 12 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,540 - Hi. Are you maud? - Yes. Hi. 13 00:04:54,667 --> 00:04:58,489 So, I left some notes out on the kitchen table with all her bits. 14 00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:00,115 She has a mate coming over tomorrow. 15 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:02,081 Try and keep her off the sauce. 16 00:05:02,208 --> 00:05:04,620 Doctor's just started her on a new course of b12 shots 17 00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:08,163 so she's having one of those every evening before dinner. 18 00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:11,705 Your bedroom's upstairs on the left. Her majesty's in there, having a nap. 19 00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,706 How is she? 20 00:05:14,917 --> 00:05:17,454 Bit of a cunt. Have fun. 21 00:06:10,792 --> 00:06:11,872 'Amanda kohl. 22 00:06:13,083 --> 00:06:14,744 '49 years old.' 23 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,581 can you feel that? 24 00:06:16,708 --> 00:06:19,165 'Stage four lymphoma of the spinal cord.' 25 00:06:19,292 --> 00:06:20,292 yep. 26 00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:22,123 Yep, yep. 27 00:06:22,875 --> 00:06:24,866 'I daresay you'll be seeing this one soon.' 28 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,365 - feel that? - Uh-huh. 29 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,365 - We done? - Mm-hm. 30 00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:34,453 What time would you like dinner? 31 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:35,698 Eight o'clock. 32 00:06:38,042 --> 00:06:40,829 There's a shopping list on the hall table. 33 00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:44,792 I got it. 34 00:07:06,583 --> 00:07:08,869 'I looked her up before I came here. 35 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,197 'Dancer, choreographer, minor celebrity. 36 00:07:13,292 --> 00:07:15,533 'As you know, I have little time for creative types 37 00:07:15,667 --> 00:07:17,874 'as they tend to be rather self-involved. 38 00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:30,081 What are you cooking up in there? 39 00:07:30,208 --> 00:07:32,290 Spaghetti bolognese and garlic bread. 40 00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:34,455 Splendid. 41 00:07:38,875 --> 00:07:40,991 J are you just careless 42 00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:44,993 j as you seem to be 43 00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:50,245 j or do you just care less for me? J 44 00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,704 - is that temperature all right? - Mm, it's fine. 45 00:08:40,625 --> 00:08:41,865 Hello. 46 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,707 - Who's your Saint? - Mary magdalene. 47 00:08:49,417 --> 00:08:51,829 I didn't know they made necklaces of her. 48 00:08:52,958 --> 00:08:54,243 I ordered it online. 49 00:09:00,917 --> 00:09:02,703 You're prettier than the last one. 50 00:10:20,875 --> 00:10:22,331 Hey. 51 00:10:23,917 --> 00:10:24,997 What do you think? 52 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,206 It's good. 53 00:10:37,667 --> 00:10:39,407 - You must be Mary. - No, maud. 54 00:10:39,542 --> 00:10:40,542 Ah. 55 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,285 Hope we're not turfing you out. 56 00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:46,329 - No, no. I'm going to meet a friend. - Good, good. 57 00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:47,538 Cheerio, then. 58 00:10:50,875 --> 00:10:53,582 'I should have told her I'd be happy just to stay in my room. 59 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,365 'She must be embarrassed.' 60 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,351 - Can you spare some change, please? - Sorry, mate, I ain't got nothing. 61 00:11:09,375 --> 00:11:10,581 Fuck off, then. 62 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,036 Excuse me, miss. 63 00:11:15,167 --> 00:11:16,527 Can you spare some change, please? 64 00:11:22,500 --> 00:11:23,660 Thank you, love. 65 00:11:23,792 --> 00:11:25,783 Bit, er... bit nippy out, innit? 66 00:11:25,917 --> 00:11:27,999 May god bless you and never waste your pain. 67 00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:29,910 - What? - Nothing. 68 00:11:31,542 --> 00:11:33,533 God bless you too, sweetheart. 69 00:11:40,292 --> 00:11:42,999 "Why would someone like her end up in a town like this? 70 00:11:46,583 --> 00:11:49,575 "This dump can't appeal to her any more than it does to me. 71 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:01,500 Hello? 72 00:12:02,583 --> 00:12:04,369 What's happened? 73 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,580 Come back to London. 74 00:12:05,708 --> 00:12:08,308 You can't just lock yourself up here. You should be around people. 75 00:12:08,375 --> 00:12:11,117 Why the fuck do you care so much all of a sudden? 76 00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,866 Don't be petulant. You're getting dangerously Norma Desmond. 77 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,911 Oh, fuck you! 78 00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,703 You stupid cow. 79 00:12:19,167 --> 00:12:20,998 - Hello. - Hello! 80 00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:27,282 Sorry to call you back early. 81 00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:30,284 Silly old thing used to knock it back no problem. 82 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,907 Even I couldn't keep up with her. 83 00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,578 Things are different now. 84 00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:35,164 Yes. 85 00:12:35,292 --> 00:12:36,327 Yes, of course. 86 00:12:38,375 --> 00:12:40,536 Do you, um... Need me to do anything? 87 00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:41,907 No. 88 00:12:42,042 --> 00:12:45,455 - She'll be all right? - Oh, don't be an idiot, Richard. 89 00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:48,579 Yes, well... Take care of yourself, darling. 90 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,789 Pompous arsehole. 91 00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:11,114 You should've seen him way back. He was constantly trying to fuck me. 92 00:13:11,250 --> 00:13:12,706 He has plugs now. Did you see? 93 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,498 - No. - No. 94 00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:16,625 Well... 95 00:13:16,750 --> 00:13:18,832 No one sees what they don't want to. 96 00:13:48,958 --> 00:13:49,958 Stay with me. 97 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,664 I don't want to be alone. 98 00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:12,328 How long have you been doing this? 99 00:14:12,458 --> 00:14:13,789 Just over a year. 100 00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,581 What were you doing before? 101 00:14:17,708 --> 00:14:20,040 I worked at st afra's hospital. 102 00:14:20,167 --> 00:14:21,452 Horrible place. 103 00:14:25,625 --> 00:14:27,161 Have you seen a lot of death? 104 00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:29,125 Yes. 105 00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:33,036 What made you leave? 106 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:40,454 I don't know, I just needed a change. 107 00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:43,458 I dunno. 108 00:14:46,875 --> 00:14:48,661 I think I was spread too thin. 109 00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:54,536 And it's what god wanted. 110 00:14:54,667 --> 00:14:56,749 When he came, everything changed. 111 00:14:58,292 --> 00:15:00,499 So this is a recent conversion? 112 00:15:04,792 --> 00:15:07,329 When you pray, do you get a response? 113 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,081 Sometimes he talks. 114 00:15:15,833 --> 00:15:16,948 You hear his voice? 115 00:15:19,917 --> 00:15:21,657 Most of the time it... 116 00:15:21,792 --> 00:15:24,989 It's just like he's physically... 117 00:15:25,875 --> 00:15:28,491 In me or around me. 118 00:15:30,042 --> 00:15:31,248 It's how he guides me. 119 00:15:32,792 --> 00:15:35,704 Like, when he's pleased, it's like a... 120 00:15:35,833 --> 00:15:37,619 A shiver or... 121 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:40,412 Sometimes it's like a pulsing. 122 00:15:42,125 --> 00:15:43,285 And it's all... 123 00:15:44,125 --> 00:15:45,956 Warm and good. 124 00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:48,740 And he's just there. 125 00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,532 Nothing feels real anymore. 126 00:16:06,625 --> 00:16:09,207 Ever since I moved back here, 127 00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:11,790 I keep thinking about that last moment 128 00:16:12,583 --> 00:16:13,789 and wondering... 129 00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:17,078 What it will be like. 130 00:16:18,208 --> 00:16:20,039 What will I be looking at? 131 00:16:21,625 --> 00:16:23,661 Will there be anyone else there? 132 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:30,160 And then what? 133 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:33,702 Nothing? 134 00:16:36,708 --> 00:16:38,073 W I tell me I'm wron 135 00:16:43,875 --> 00:16:45,115 There is more. 136 00:16:46,458 --> 00:16:48,289 And not just afterwards. 137 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,948 He's everywhere. 138 00:16:53,042 --> 00:16:54,373 He sees you. 139 00:16:55,917 --> 00:16:57,532 He won't let you fall. 140 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:13,244 My little saviour. 141 00:19:12,083 --> 00:19:15,371 'Father, thank you." 142 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:18,492 And bring your hand to join... 143 00:19:20,542 --> 00:19:22,123 Your right hand. 144 00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:24,912 And then draw a semi-circle above your head. 145 00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:29,788 'Now, don't get me wrong, palliative care is noble work. 146 00:19:31,375 --> 00:19:34,412 'But I always knew you had something more planned for me. 147 00:19:38,958 --> 00:19:42,780 'It takes nothing special to mop up after the decrepit and the dying. 148 00:19:44,917 --> 00:19:46,248 'But to save a soul, 149 00:19:47,458 --> 00:19:49,039 'that's quite something. 150 00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,911 "Your presence graces the air 151 00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:01,617 'and I feel Fuller of your love than ever before. 152 00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:05,581 'More than enough to share.' 153 00:20:18,250 --> 00:20:19,250 Oh. 154 00:20:42,708 --> 00:20:43,993 I can see you. 155 00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:50,868 Yes? 156 00:20:52,833 --> 00:20:54,789 - Cynthia left? - Yes, I'm maud. 157 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:58,117 - Carol. - It's too late to be visiting now. 158 00:20:58,250 --> 00:20:59,956 - It... - She's expecting me. 159 00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:05,292 She's sleeping. 160 00:22:20,833 --> 00:22:22,994 Maud? 161 00:22:23,125 --> 00:22:24,535 Come and join me. 162 00:22:26,833 --> 00:22:28,619 'He ended his life last month 163 00:22:28,750 --> 00:22:30,991 'at a legalised euthanasia clinic in Switzerland. 164 00:22:31,875 --> 00:22:34,947 'John said it was his final wish to have a peaceful, pain-free death 165 00:22:35,083 --> 00:22:37,950 'with his family by his side.' 166 00:22:38,083 --> 00:22:39,323 "thanks, Julia. 167 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:44,248 'Before he passed, John wrote an open letter to mps here in england. 168 00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:46,991 'He wanted everybody to know..." 169 00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:59,665 Dear god, here is Amanda. 170 00:23:00,125 --> 00:23:01,911 Well, you know that. 171 00:23:02,042 --> 00:23:04,078 Thank you for bringing us together, lord. 172 00:23:05,375 --> 00:23:07,957 And thank you for this meal which we gratefully receive. 173 00:23:13,208 --> 00:23:15,164 Bless Amanda's body 174 00:23:15,292 --> 00:23:16,998 which is hurting now 175 00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:20,242 but has done so many wonderful things. 176 00:23:20,375 --> 00:23:21,990 And bless her mind, 177 00:23:22,125 --> 00:23:24,366 which is shrouded in darkness, 178 00:23:25,625 --> 00:23:28,082 and reach out to her like you did to me. 179 00:23:29,917 --> 00:23:31,202 Amen. 180 00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:41,539 He's here? 181 00:23:52,083 --> 00:23:53,869 I feel it too. 182 00:24:35,250 --> 00:24:41,951 J too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral 183 00:24:42,917 --> 00:24:50,494 j too-ra-loo-ra-li... and 184 00:24:51,333 --> 00:24:53,449 you look beautiful. 185 00:24:53,583 --> 00:24:56,165 - No! - Yes. 186 00:24:59,875 --> 00:25:05,541 J now, don't you cry... j 187 00:26:06,375 --> 00:26:07,455 Hey. 188 00:26:09,042 --> 00:26:10,953 No, I can't tonight. 189 00:26:11,083 --> 00:26:12,539 You know where I am. 190 00:26:12,667 --> 00:26:14,157 She's all right. 191 00:26:14,292 --> 00:26:15,407 Bit weird but... 192 00:26:15,542 --> 00:26:17,453 Shh. I gotta go. 193 00:26:18,208 --> 00:26:19,618 Yeah, ok. Bye, bye. 194 00:26:23,417 --> 00:26:25,032 Maud, your face. 195 00:26:37,042 --> 00:26:39,124 Oh, shit. 196 00:26:39,250 --> 00:26:40,770 Fuck, it's all over her dressing gown. 197 00:26:40,833 --> 00:26:41,913 Shit. 198 00:26:43,750 --> 00:26:45,286 Maud, I can do it. 199 00:26:46,083 --> 00:26:49,575 - Don't let her drink too much. - Don't worry, it's mostly for me. 200 00:26:52,125 --> 00:26:54,116 Honey, come back to me. 201 00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:02,328 'Religious themes would play a prominent role 202 00:27:02,458 --> 00:27:04,824 "throughout Blake's career, 203 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:07,870 'namely a rejection of organised religion, 204 00:27:10,208 --> 00:27:14,872 'which he claimed was an ugly distortion of a true spiritual life. 205 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:16,035 Hm. 206 00:28:35,250 --> 00:28:36,250 Bye. 207 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:39,452 Carol? 208 00:28:39,583 --> 00:28:40,583 Hey. 209 00:28:43,667 --> 00:28:44,873 I need to talk to you. 210 00:28:46,292 --> 00:28:47,292 Yeah? 211 00:28:51,333 --> 00:28:54,951 - What's up? - I want you to stop seeing Amanda. 212 00:28:55,625 --> 00:28:57,786 - Huh? - Just leave her alone. 213 00:28:57,917 --> 00:29:00,579 - Did she tell you to come after me? - No, I'm telling you. 214 00:29:00,708 --> 00:29:02,244 It's an important time for her. 215 00:29:02,375 --> 00:29:05,993 She's got big things to deal with and she needs to be focused. 216 00:29:06,958 --> 00:29:10,121 And I just don't think you can fit into that anymore. 217 00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,115 I don't know what you're talking about, but... 218 00:29:12,250 --> 00:29:14,531 I'm sure your patient's sex life is none of your business. 219 00:29:14,625 --> 00:29:16,081 I know she's giving you money. 220 00:29:16,750 --> 00:29:19,036 Again, none of your fucking business. 221 00:29:19,625 --> 00:29:22,697 Look, I'm trying to be respectful. 222 00:29:22,833 --> 00:29:24,949 I didn't swear at you or anything. 223 00:29:25,083 --> 00:29:26,198 I just... 224 00:29:27,208 --> 00:29:29,824 - I just don't think it's a good idea. - Please. Respectful? 225 00:29:30,375 --> 00:29:31,990 You just don't like that she fucks women. 226 00:29:32,125 --> 00:29:34,081 You could have an eight-inch cock for all I care. 227 00:29:34,208 --> 00:29:36,745 I'd still be telling you this after the way you looked at her. 228 00:29:36,875 --> 00:29:39,207 - Whoa. What? - What was that, by the way? 229 00:29:40,167 --> 00:29:42,954 Do you think you're too good for her? Do you think this is a joke? 230 00:29:43,083 --> 00:29:45,074 - Of course not. - Amanda is dying. 231 00:29:45,833 --> 00:29:48,620 I have a responsibility to look after her. 232 00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:51,957 This is life and death. 233 00:29:52,083 --> 00:29:54,665 It's spiritual, on another level. 234 00:29:55,583 --> 00:29:58,450 No hard feelings. I'm sure you're great in bed. 235 00:29:58,583 --> 00:30:00,543 But you're just a waste of her time at the moment. 236 00:30:01,417 --> 00:30:03,578 Can you hear yourself? 237 00:30:03,708 --> 00:30:05,448 Maud, you're her nurse. 238 00:30:05,583 --> 00:30:08,450 She doesn't want you to see it but she is vulnerable right now. 239 00:30:09,333 --> 00:30:12,325 And it is not right that she spends her last days 240 00:30:12,458 --> 00:30:16,030 getting worked up about a silly girl who doesn't care about her. 241 00:30:16,167 --> 00:30:18,032 - I care about her. - Not enough. 242 00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:22,491 - What are you doing? - I'm leaving. 243 00:30:22,625 --> 00:30:23,660 Oh. 244 00:30:26,208 --> 00:30:27,789 Ok, so you'll do it? 245 00:30:28,750 --> 00:30:30,240 Anything you say, maud. 246 00:30:32,667 --> 00:30:34,248 Don't tell her I told you, though. 247 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:37,286 Just, you know, make something up. 248 00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:39,615 Don't hurt her feelings. 249 00:30:40,333 --> 00:30:43,123 Ok. 250 00:30:55,208 --> 00:30:56,539 ' Think it went well. 251 00:30:59,458 --> 00:31:02,495 'A whole day and her phone has been silent. 252 00:31:04,208 --> 00:31:06,244 'It must be a relief to her too. 253 00:31:09,125 --> 00:31:11,286 'She radiates peace, 254 00:31:11,417 --> 00:31:14,830 'and I am reminded of myself in the first flushes of your love.' 255 00:31:19,167 --> 00:31:21,032 'we don't need anyone else.' 256 00:31:37,917 --> 00:31:39,032 Katie? 257 00:31:42,750 --> 00:31:43,956 Katie! 258 00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:47,700 Katie, hey! I thought that was you. 259 00:31:49,417 --> 00:31:51,032 How's it going? It's been ages. 260 00:31:51,667 --> 00:31:53,077 Yeah, good. 261 00:31:54,500 --> 00:31:56,411 How are you, joy? 262 00:31:56,542 --> 00:31:59,454 Yeah, not bad, not bad. You know, knackered. 263 00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:01,198 Got patients sleeping in corridors. 264 00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:03,745 Surgeries all double-booked. It's a total madhouse. 265 00:32:07,625 --> 00:32:09,707 So, how's it going? Are you taking care of yourself? 266 00:32:09,833 --> 00:32:10,833 Yeah. 267 00:32:10,958 --> 00:32:12,744 We all thought you must've left town. 268 00:32:12,875 --> 00:32:14,456 No one sees you out and about anymore. 269 00:32:15,542 --> 00:32:17,624 - I've been around. - Oh, yeah? 270 00:32:17,750 --> 00:32:20,162 - What are you up to? - I'm a private carer. 271 00:32:21,375 --> 00:32:22,956 You're still nursing? 272 00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,619 - What? - Nothing. 273 00:32:24,750 --> 00:32:26,081 Just surprised. I mean... 274 00:32:27,125 --> 00:32:29,616 - Where are you doing it? Who with? - A private agency. 275 00:32:29,750 --> 00:32:31,581 - And they know what happened? - Yes. 276 00:32:34,417 --> 00:32:36,499 Well, I've got to go. It was nice to see you, joy. 277 00:32:38,958 --> 00:32:39,993 Katie. 278 00:32:49,042 --> 00:32:50,782 Take my number, yeah? 279 00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:51,952 What? 280 00:32:52,625 --> 00:32:56,038 If you ever want to talk or get a drink or... anything. 281 00:33:14,375 --> 00:33:15,660 That one there. 282 00:33:19,375 --> 00:33:21,036 Yes, and then that one. 283 00:33:30,625 --> 00:33:32,240 Uh, you can't do that. 284 00:33:32,375 --> 00:33:33,375 What? 285 00:33:33,958 --> 00:33:37,155 You... you slipped those cards in. 286 00:33:37,833 --> 00:33:38,833 Did I? 287 00:33:42,833 --> 00:33:44,198 It's no fun if you cheat. 288 00:33:44,333 --> 00:33:47,075 Which one was it? Hm, that one. 289 00:33:49,833 --> 00:33:51,619 Can you give me a moment? 290 00:33:51,750 --> 00:33:53,786 - Uh, yes. - And take that away. 291 00:33:56,375 --> 00:33:58,991 - Ooh, can I have a cup of tea? - Of course. 292 00:34:01,750 --> 00:34:02,990 Hello. 293 00:34:04,042 --> 00:34:06,203 I didn't expect to hear from you. 294 00:34:16,625 --> 00:34:18,035 What do you mean? 295 00:34:20,542 --> 00:34:21,542 Why? 296 00:34:38,500 --> 00:34:39,956 There you go. 297 00:34:43,917 --> 00:34:47,080 You know, I've been thinking, it might be nice to go out sometime, 298 00:34:47,208 --> 00:34:48,823 to the theatre or something. 299 00:34:49,417 --> 00:34:53,239 I would have no clue what to see but I'm sure you can suggest something. 300 00:34:54,583 --> 00:34:57,245 - And maybe after I leave... - I want to go to bed. 301 00:35:00,208 --> 00:35:01,573 It's five o'clock. 302 00:35:02,042 --> 00:35:04,033 I will go to bed when I damn well like. 303 00:35:06,042 --> 00:35:07,452 Yes, of course. 304 00:35:08,625 --> 00:35:10,115 Now is not the time. 305 00:36:39,042 --> 00:36:40,373 I need you to go into town. 306 00:36:40,500 --> 00:36:41,500 Yeah? 307 00:36:41,625 --> 00:36:44,241 To pick up some things for tonight. I'll make a list. 308 00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:46,323 Ok, no problem. 309 00:37:28,958 --> 00:37:31,916 Oh, yes! 310 00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:54,324 - Is it ready? - I'm just lighting the candles. 311 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:07,240 Plates. 312 00:38:09,958 --> 00:38:11,164 Get the lights. 313 00:38:18,458 --> 00:38:22,872 and happy birthday to you 314 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:27,073 j happy birthday to you 315 00:38:27,208 --> 00:38:32,077 j happy birthday, dear Amanda 316 00:38:32,208 --> 00:38:36,156 j happy birthday to you j 317 00:38:44,167 --> 00:38:45,998 - Lights. - Make a wish. 318 00:39:00,875 --> 00:39:03,366 So, Carol, how did you and Mandy meet? 319 00:39:03,500 --> 00:39:04,831 We met online. 320 00:39:04,958 --> 00:39:06,573 Ah, so now you have a ménage a trois. 321 00:39:06,708 --> 00:39:09,120 Hardly. Maud doesn't like Carol. 322 00:39:10,042 --> 00:39:14,240 It's funny, I can't figure out if she's a bigot or if she's just jealous. 323 00:39:14,375 --> 00:39:18,448 She went sneaking behind my back to try to scare Carol away. 324 00:39:20,250 --> 00:39:24,118 To save my soul, if I understand correctly. 325 00:39:26,875 --> 00:39:28,160 Excuse me. 326 00:39:28,292 --> 00:39:31,034 Don't run away. I'm talking to you. 327 00:39:31,167 --> 00:39:34,079 Maud is my saviour, you see. 328 00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:38,871 She's been looking out for me in more ways than one, but... 329 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,036 You got a little carried away, didn't you? 330 00:39:43,625 --> 00:39:44,785 So, what is it? 331 00:39:47,458 --> 00:39:48,618 Am I indecent? 332 00:39:49,333 --> 00:39:50,869 No, you're lost. 333 00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:55,199 Richard, want to show us some moves? 334 00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:33,206 There's my little Saint. 335 00:40:35,917 --> 00:40:37,999 Oh, no, no. Sweetheart, no, no, no. 336 00:40:38,125 --> 00:40:41,367 You know you shouldn't take anything I say seriously. 337 00:40:41,500 --> 00:40:43,206 I just wanna see you loosen up. 338 00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:45,369 You are a beautiful young woman, 339 00:40:45,500 --> 00:40:48,207 and you should have some fun while you still can. 340 00:40:49,792 --> 00:40:52,374 I've got more important things on my mind. 341 00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:53,990 Oh, yes, of course. 342 00:40:54,125 --> 00:40:57,822 How could mere human frivolity possibly compete 343 00:40:57,958 --> 00:41:00,324 with the heavenly father's warm heart pulsing... 344 00:41:02,375 --> 00:41:03,865 Let's go. Let's go. 345 00:41:20,542 --> 00:41:22,248 Maybe if you just let me talk to her. 346 00:41:22,375 --> 00:41:24,081 No, absolutely not. 347 00:41:24,208 --> 00:41:26,540 You should be thankful she isn't pressing charges. 348 00:41:32,875 --> 00:41:33,990 Is everything all right? 349 00:41:38,750 --> 00:41:39,785 I'm fine. 350 00:42:56,792 --> 00:42:58,703 'God, 351 00:42:58,833 --> 00:43:00,949 'all I feel of you now is this pain. 352 00:43:02,083 --> 00:43:03,744 'A gnawing burning. 353 00:43:05,875 --> 00:43:08,947 'Maybe it's ulcers or cancer 354 00:43:09,083 --> 00:43:10,744 'or appendicitis. 355 00:43:11,667 --> 00:43:13,227 'If you're trying to teach me something, 356 00:43:14,458 --> 00:43:15,948 ' can't see what it is. 357 00:43:37,542 --> 00:43:40,204 'Quite frankly it all just seems such a waste. 358 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:45,582 'I was ready and open and alive 359 00:43:45,708 --> 00:43:47,824 'and this is my reward: 360 00:43:47,958 --> 00:43:49,118 'Unemployable, 361 00:43:50,458 --> 00:43:51,573 'unoccupied. 362 00:43:57,375 --> 00:43:59,457 'Perhaps you weren't as wise as I thought. 363 00:44:01,292 --> 00:44:03,408 'Perhaps I wasn't paying enough attention. 364 00:44:15,417 --> 00:44:18,659 'I can't help but feel an act of spite has occurred. 365 00:44:28,375 --> 00:44:31,162 "If this is how you treat your most loyal subjects 366 00:44:33,125 --> 00:44:35,787 'l shudder to think what awaits those who shun you.' 367 00:46:18,250 --> 00:46:19,285 Yes, that's it. 368 00:46:19,417 --> 00:46:20,497 Yeah, yeah. 369 00:46:21,458 --> 00:46:23,164 Oh, yes. On! 370 00:46:25,917 --> 00:46:27,282 - Not yet. - Oh! 371 00:46:27,417 --> 00:46:28,702 Oh, god! 372 00:46:28,833 --> 00:46:30,448 Oh, sorry. Oh. 373 00:46:43,500 --> 00:46:44,580 See you later. 374 00:47:43,292 --> 00:47:45,248 Hey, joy, it's Katie. 375 00:47:47,125 --> 00:47:51,789 Hey. Yeah, I was just wondering if you wanna go for that drink, 376 00:47:51,917 --> 00:47:55,614 you know, have that chat and just hang out, 377 00:47:55,750 --> 00:47:57,615 like you said, to chat. 378 00:47:59,667 --> 00:48:01,032 Cool. Great. 379 00:48:01,167 --> 00:48:02,452 That's great. 380 00:48:05,375 --> 00:48:08,742 I did think it was kind of weird when I saw you and you suggested it, 381 00:48:08,875 --> 00:48:11,708 just because you never seemed to like me that much. 382 00:48:13,583 --> 00:48:14,583 No... 383 00:48:14,708 --> 00:48:18,200 No, no, no, no. I didn't... I didn't mean... 384 00:48:18,333 --> 00:48:19,493 Don't be like that. 385 00:48:21,167 --> 00:48:24,614 Well, I'm just at the star at the moment with some friends, 386 00:48:24,750 --> 00:48:27,742 but I think they're heading off soon but I'm gonna hang around a bit. 387 00:48:27,875 --> 00:48:29,536 Oh, sorry. 388 00:48:30,792 --> 00:48:31,872 Yeah, of course. 389 00:48:33,458 --> 00:48:36,120 In that case, my apologies. 390 00:48:36,250 --> 00:48:38,912 I'm being stupid so, uh, bye. 391 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:13,365 Oh, careful. 392 00:49:23,458 --> 00:49:24,868 You owe me a drink. 393 00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:57,081 Is everything ok? 394 00:49:58,042 --> 00:49:59,657 Shh, shh, shh. 395 00:50:01,375 --> 00:50:03,161 Shh, it's ok. It's ok. 396 00:50:05,250 --> 00:50:06,250 Shh. 397 00:50:08,292 --> 00:50:09,292 Come on. 398 00:50:10,458 --> 00:50:11,994 - Easy. - No. 399 00:50:12,125 --> 00:50:13,240 Easy! 400 00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:45,914 I remember you, you know. 401 00:50:48,125 --> 00:50:50,081 You used to be out all the time. 402 00:50:50,958 --> 00:50:52,073 While back. 403 00:50:53,375 --> 00:50:54,581 I think... 404 00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:57,789 You and my mate Tommy had it off. 405 00:50:59,750 --> 00:51:02,366 Ah, I remember you. 406 00:51:02,500 --> 00:51:04,991 A lovely, lovely little nursey, hey? 407 00:52:04,417 --> 00:52:05,873 I did everything. 408 00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:09,786 Everything. I changed, didn't 1? 409 00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:14,119 I thought I did what you told me to do. 410 00:52:14,250 --> 00:52:15,250 Didn't I? 411 00:52:17,375 --> 00:52:18,660 Please. 412 00:52:18,792 --> 00:52:20,783 Please don't let me fall again. 413 00:52:22,292 --> 00:52:23,498 I'm begging you. 414 00:52:24,958 --> 00:52:26,164 I'll do anything. 415 00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:30,366 Please guide me. 416 00:54:32,042 --> 00:54:34,784 'Revelation, and just in time. 417 00:54:37,667 --> 00:54:40,659 'Oh, lord, your mercy knows no bounds. 418 00:54:40,792 --> 00:54:42,953 'For shame that I almost fell so easily." 419 00:56:35,042 --> 00:56:36,998 'I should have expected resistance. 420 00:56:38,750 --> 00:56:40,957 'Nothing worthwhile comes easily. 421 00:57:03,500 --> 00:57:04,910 'Amanda. 422 00:57:05,042 --> 00:57:07,249 'Amanda, Amanda. 423 00:57:07,375 --> 00:57:08,865 "You called to me, Amanda. 424 00:57:10,125 --> 00:57:12,036 'It was no small thing. 425 00:57:12,167 --> 00:57:13,657 'It meant something. 426 00:57:16,750 --> 00:57:18,240 'Never waste your pain. 427 00:57:19,208 --> 00:57:21,620 'Never waste your pain.' 428 00:58:30,333 --> 00:58:32,790 Beautiful. 429 00:58:32,917 --> 00:58:33,917 Mm. 430 00:58:37,333 --> 00:58:39,915 - Do you mind if I sit? - Hm? Course not. 431 00:58:46,000 --> 00:58:49,367 Oh, you don't work at st afra's, do you? 432 00:58:49,500 --> 00:58:50,956 Oh, no, no. I'm a private carer. 433 00:58:51,583 --> 00:58:53,119 Oh, right. 434 00:58:53,833 --> 00:58:57,371 I have a friend who works at st afra's and I wondered if you knew her. 435 00:58:57,500 --> 00:58:59,331 Oh, their uniform is blue. 436 00:59:00,250 --> 00:59:03,322 I honestly have so much respect 437 00:59:03,458 --> 00:59:05,824 for anyone in the medical profession. 438 00:59:05,958 --> 00:59:07,323 Like, any area. 439 00:59:08,208 --> 00:59:10,824 I really think it's the most important thing 440 00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:13,040 you can do with your life, almost. 441 00:59:14,208 --> 00:59:16,415 Thank you. That's so sweet. 442 00:59:16,542 --> 00:59:19,614 Yeah, it can be really rewarding. 443 00:59:19,750 --> 00:59:21,581 Not all that glamorous, but yeah. 444 00:59:22,667 --> 00:59:25,329 - I love it. - I bet you get no time for yourself. 445 00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:28,366 Oh, it's fine. I have my own life. 446 00:59:28,500 --> 00:59:30,115 My own things. 447 00:59:30,250 --> 00:59:31,786 Got choir practice. 448 00:59:35,208 --> 00:59:38,405 This person you're with at the moment, what's wrong with them? 449 00:59:38,542 --> 00:59:39,657 Oh, I'm... 450 00:59:41,167 --> 00:59:43,783 Not really supposed to discuss the details. 451 00:59:43,917 --> 00:59:46,078 But you have a good relationship? You get on with them? 452 00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:47,288 Mm, really well. 453 00:59:48,250 --> 00:59:51,242 I'm with a lovely lady at the minute. We're good pals. 454 00:59:53,500 --> 00:59:56,037 That's one of the things I love about the job. 455 00:59:56,167 --> 01:00:00,331 You find yourself quickly building these quite meaningful relationships 456 01:00:00,458 --> 01:00:03,996 and, you know, you're often right there 457 01:00:04,125 --> 01:00:06,582 at a very important time in people's lives. 458 01:00:08,625 --> 01:00:10,161 Yeah. 459 01:00:10,292 --> 01:00:12,499 Although that sometimes makes things harder in the end. 460 01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:13,865 When you have to leave? 461 01:00:14,500 --> 01:00:15,615 No, when they die. 462 01:00:16,917 --> 01:00:20,865 I don't think I'll be with this one much longer to be honest with you. 463 01:00:21,000 --> 01:00:22,365 Sadly... 464 01:00:22,500 --> 01:00:25,162 That, as they say, 465 01:00:25,292 --> 01:00:26,953 is how the cookie crumbles. 466 01:00:31,500 --> 01:00:35,163 Oh, I'm Esther, by the way. What's your name? 467 01:00:45,667 --> 01:00:47,248 "What if I'm getting it all wrong? 468 01:00:49,333 --> 01:00:52,996 "What if you are smirking or indifferent 469 01:00:53,125 --> 01:00:55,662 'or think me a clueless idiot like that stupid woman? 470 01:00:58,833 --> 01:01:01,074 "Is that how Amanda saw me all along?' 471 01:02:59,292 --> 01:03:00,748 How will I know what to do? 472 01:04:45,208 --> 01:04:46,243 Katie? 473 01:04:50,208 --> 01:04:51,448 Katie, it's joy. 474 01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:00,365 There you are. 475 01:05:00,500 --> 01:05:02,331 Oh, sorry. Did I get you out of bed? 476 01:05:03,875 --> 01:05:06,287 - Mind if I come in? - I'm busy. 477 01:05:06,417 --> 01:05:08,783 I'll be quick, I promise. I'm just on my way to work. 478 01:05:11,833 --> 01:05:13,039 Thanks, love. 479 01:05:15,250 --> 01:05:16,250 Oh. 480 01:05:17,958 --> 01:05:19,368 This is nice. 481 01:05:22,000 --> 01:05:23,740 Cor, you ain't half tidy, are you? 482 01:05:28,917 --> 01:05:30,957 I hope you don't mind. I got your address from work. 483 01:05:31,083 --> 01:05:32,789 Just wanted to see how you are. 484 01:05:38,167 --> 01:05:40,453 Oh, this is cool. 485 01:05:41,167 --> 01:05:42,577 I like all this. 486 01:05:43,958 --> 01:05:45,789 Sorry I couldn't see you the other night. 487 01:05:45,917 --> 01:05:49,330 I was so shattered, I don't think I would've been much fun. 488 01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:50,994 I tried to call but you didn't pick up. 489 01:05:52,958 --> 01:05:54,539 Want a ciggie? 490 01:05:59,208 --> 01:06:00,744 How's work going? 491 01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:04,749 Are you not with a patient at the moment? 492 01:06:12,958 --> 01:06:15,620 I've been feeling bad about the way I reacted last time I saw you. 493 01:06:16,583 --> 01:06:18,039 I'm sure you're doing a great job. 494 01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:20,039 You always did. 495 01:06:20,167 --> 01:06:22,087 And I know you put a lot of pressure on yourself. 496 01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:28,243 What happened before, it wasn't your fault. I know that. 497 01:06:29,708 --> 01:06:31,039 You do too, right? 498 01:06:38,542 --> 01:06:40,328 What's going on, Katie? 499 01:06:42,875 --> 01:06:44,240 Come on, you can tell me. 500 01:06:46,208 --> 01:06:49,405 Look, I know it's a bit late now, but I wanted to tell you. 501 01:06:50,333 --> 01:06:52,790 We should have been there before it all happened. 502 01:06:54,042 --> 01:06:56,249 We could see you were struggling for a while. 503 01:07:13,333 --> 01:07:16,166 I know it feels like everyone's in their own little bubble. 504 01:07:19,083 --> 01:07:20,664 But it does help to share. 505 01:07:39,667 --> 01:07:42,033 May the lord bless and keep you, joy. 506 01:07:43,208 --> 01:07:44,288 You what? 507 01:07:45,375 --> 01:07:47,411 It was sweet of you to come but you mustn't worry. 508 01:07:48,417 --> 01:07:50,908 You're right, back then I was so lost. 509 01:07:52,042 --> 01:07:54,829 But now I am transformed 510 01:07:54,958 --> 01:07:57,870 and soon everyone will see. 511 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:02,582 Right. Well, that's good. 512 01:08:02,708 --> 01:08:05,450 Thank you, joy. Thank you for coming. 513 01:08:10,958 --> 01:08:13,119 Oh? Oh, right. 514 01:08:16,125 --> 01:08:17,535 Are you sure you're ok, then? 515 01:08:20,083 --> 01:08:21,823 Oh, fuck, I should go, actually. 516 01:08:28,708 --> 01:08:30,869 I'm gonna come back later, all right? 517 01:08:31,000 --> 01:08:32,080 All right. 518 01:08:32,208 --> 01:08:34,369 I'm really glad things are looking up. 519 01:08:35,792 --> 01:08:36,792 See you later. 520 01:11:48,792 --> 01:11:51,033 I'm so sorry. 521 01:11:51,167 --> 01:11:53,829 I was unkind to you. 522 01:11:53,958 --> 01:11:57,075 You made me think of things I didn't want to. 523 01:12:00,167 --> 01:12:01,452 It's all right. 524 01:12:02,375 --> 01:12:04,536 - No. - It is, Amanda. 525 01:12:05,542 --> 01:12:07,703 The lord forgives that which is said in anger. 526 01:12:08,917 --> 01:12:10,999 He knows your heart. 527 01:12:11,125 --> 01:12:12,490 The lord. 528 01:12:12,625 --> 01:12:13,865 Yes, god. 529 01:12:15,625 --> 01:12:17,490 God sent me to you. 530 01:12:19,542 --> 01:12:20,998 He forgives everything. 531 01:12:22,625 --> 01:12:24,661 You only have to ask. 532 01:12:32,125 --> 01:12:33,490 Heavenly father... 533 01:12:33,625 --> 01:12:35,536 - No, no. - Bless this woman in her pain. 534 01:12:36,125 --> 01:12:38,867 No, none of that nonsense. 535 01:12:45,708 --> 01:12:46,708 Amanda? 536 01:12:54,208 --> 01:12:57,780 You must be the loneliest girl I've ever seen. 537 01:13:01,000 --> 01:13:02,410 I'm here, Amanda. 538 01:13:04,042 --> 01:13:05,157 I am not alone. 539 01:13:06,833 --> 01:13:08,073 And neither are you. 540 01:13:08,208 --> 01:13:09,448 No. 541 01:13:09,583 --> 01:13:12,199 Snap out of it, honey. 542 01:13:17,417 --> 01:13:18,623 He isn't real. 543 01:13:20,042 --> 01:13:21,657 You must know that. 544 01:13:24,542 --> 01:13:25,702 No. 545 01:13:25,833 --> 01:13:28,199 You felt him too, remember? 546 01:13:28,333 --> 01:13:30,164 We both did. 547 01:13:30,292 --> 01:13:31,372 No, honey. 548 01:13:32,792 --> 01:13:34,453 I didn't. 549 01:13:36,708 --> 01:13:38,323 That's not true. 550 01:13:40,292 --> 01:13:43,864 You have no idea how dull it is to be dying. 551 01:13:49,208 --> 01:13:54,282 I hate to be the one to break it to you but it's just you and me here. 552 01:13:58,000 --> 01:14:00,332 Nothing you do matters. 553 01:14:10,333 --> 01:14:12,699 Well, that was easy. 554 01:14:18,250 --> 01:14:19,456 Devil. 555 01:14:29,042 --> 01:14:32,159 Take responsibility for your actions. 556 01:14:32,292 --> 01:14:35,534 You came back here because you are alone. 557 01:14:35,667 --> 01:14:37,874 If you were a true believer, he would be enough 558 01:14:38,000 --> 01:14:41,948 but it's clear now you are as weak as your faith. 559 01:17:14,458 --> 01:17:17,655 J I saw the light 560 01:17:18,833 --> 01:17:21,905 j I saw the light 561 01:17:23,708 --> 01:17:25,289 j no more... 562 01:17:34,250 --> 01:17:37,117 J I'm so happy 563 01:17:40,750 --> 01:17:43,708 j no sorrow in sight 564 01:17:46,292 --> 01:17:49,079 j praise the lord 565 01:17:50,833 --> 01:17:52,323 jdlsaw... j 566 01:18:36,125 --> 01:18:38,241 - Somebody stop her. - Hey, love! 567 01:18:40,333 --> 01:18:42,449 - Oh, my god! - No, no, no, don't!